


Take the Plunge

by AlphaVoyager



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Knifeplay, Light Bondage, M/M, Sexting, Trans Male Character, based off an rp yeet, happy birthday binch hope you like it, wow never thought id be here what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:07:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaVoyager/pseuds/AlphaVoyager
Summary: Ryan never claimed to be a strong man. No, he was weak. He was weak for the way that Gavin looked at him every single day. He was weak for the brief touches the smaller man gave him. He was weak, but he would never give in to what he really wanted.





	Take the Plunge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OnePhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnePhoenix/gifts).



> for my lovely bby whom I love dearly. thank you for hyping me up bc i probably never would have written this otherwise. im glad we became friends and i lov you dearly. 
> 
> thanks to my lovely wife cin for allowing me to yeet this at her to beta for me. shes lovely and amazing.
> 
> idk ya'll ive never written porn before so this is fun.

Ryan is a weak man. He never claimed to be anything but. He was weak for Gavin, and he hated admitting it to anyone, even himself. It made him want to hide or run away. He wanted Gavin so badly, but he knew he couldn’t have him. But he never really denied Gavin anything, that’s why he was stuck in this mess of constantly falling for Gavin over and over and over again. And constantly denying himself the simple joy of letting the man in. 

When Ryan got the text from Gavin, his eyes lit up. 

_You’re lovely~_

Ryan rolled his eyes at the text. Gavin kept playing this game with him. Calling him lovely, and darling. He typed back something about Gavin being a brat. He had to hide his feelings for Gavin, and he wasn’t doing a very good job at it so far. He knew the brit already had some inkling about Ryan’s feelings. He would have to bury those deeper next time. 

He looked down as his phone pinged again. 

_Awwwwww am I a brat? That what you gonna call me in bed too?_

Ryan smirked. So Gavin was gonna play this game today. Gavin wanted to be a little shit, Ryan would play along with his games. At least then, the lad would stay out of trouble. And maybe stay in Ryan’s bed. 

He shook his head. He needed those thoughts gone. 

_Gavin. I’d advise you to stop being a little shit before I do something_

He regretted sending that message. Gavin would take it too sexually. But Ryan knew deep down that was what he wanted. 

_Something like what, handsome moon?_

Tie you up. Gag you. Show you who’s boss. Were a few things that flashed through his mind. No. He couldn't. He couldn’t let Gavin know. But there was a little voice in the back of his mind that told him to do it anyways. Play along with Gavin’s game, it's what he wants to do, so why deny himself?

_Maybe I’ll gag you_

There. Play right into Gavin’s little game. Suddenly all sorts of ideas flashed through his mind. Most of them centered around Gavin being tied up and Ryan holding a knife. Those were good ideas. Eventually, maybe he’d get there. But for now, he needed to push that all down. Maybe.

_Oh? That sounds fun~_

Of course, Gavin would think that was fun. Gavin thinks anything involving Ryan is fun. But he did have to admit that it did sound fun. 

_Sounds fun huh? I can make you scream for me little boy_

He will be the first to admit that maybe this was getting a little out of hand. But he liked it. It was fun to play this little game with Gavin. See how far it will go. See who breaks first. 

He got a bit more comfortable on his bed, he might be here a while. And hopefully, he’d have Gavin here with him too 

Two pings in a row. Hm.

_Oh wanna oh lovely ryan, you wanna make me scream?  
Only your name?_

God that went straight to his dick. He should probably end this now before it went too far, but he was having too much fun. 

_I was thinking other things but maybe you could persuade me._

Ryan felt like he was stuck in the never-ending loop of wanting to be coy and wanting to be straightforward. They went back and forth for a few minutes until Gavin finally asked to see him. Ryan couldn’t wait. He wanted Gavin at his mercy. Tied up and begging for Ryan to give him release. He wanted to see how pretty Gavin was when he bled. 

When Gavin showed up at his door Ryan smirked at him and dragged him in. He pinned Gavin against the wall. Gavin looked blissed out already and they hadn’t even done anything. “Gavvy, darling? Look at me.” He ground his thigh against Gavin and he let out an adorable squeak. Gavin opened his eyes and Ryan swore as he saw the pleasure bloom across Gavin’s face. He took pride in the fact that he was the one that put that look on Gavin's face. 

He lead Gavin over to the bed and pushed him down. “Stay there brat.” He purred and stroked Gavin’s thighs. Who bucked into Ryan’s touch and the man chuckled at the action. He got up and grabbed some rope and one of his knives. He turned towards Gavin and the smaller man let out a pathetic whimper. Ryan walked towards the bed and set the knife and rope down next to Gavin. He laid down on top of Gavin and wormed his leg in between Gavin’s thighs and ground up again, wanting to hear the smaller man whine for him again. And he was rewarded with a beautifully pathetic whine. He smirked down at Gavin. “Color?”

Gavin let out another whimper “Green, Ryan, god please touch me.” He bucked into Ryan again and wouldn’t stop whining. So desperate for any touch. So pathetic. Ryan loved it. He started undressing Gavin slowly. “You and your damned dress shirts” he whispered. He finally got fed up with the tiny buttons and ripped the shirt open. Another squeak from the man under him. “Ryan!” he protested. All he did was smirk at Gavin and tweak one of his nipples, making the brit groan and buck up again. 

Ryan’s hand meandered down Gavin’s chest. Running over the man’s stomach and tickling at his sides. “Ryan,” Gavin whined, “get on with it already.” So impatient. Such a little brat. Ryan would have to teach the boy some manners. But he did speed up his teasing and popped open the button on his pants. He heard Gavin moan above him and he looked up through his lashes. Gavin was flushed down to his chest and god did he look pretty like that. He looked fucked out already and Ryan was just getting started. 

He unzipped Gavin’s pants and slid them down, revealing a wet patch in the brits boxers. He looked up to see Gavin hiding his face. He rose up to Gavin’s face and slowly moved his hands away, “No need to be shy little one. I love you just the way you are.” Ryan slunk back down Gavin’s body, stopping to suck a nipple into his mouth and roll it around, Gavin let out a groan at the action. Ryan released it with a pop and kissed a line down Gavin’s stomach to his boxers. He looked up at Gavin and waited for a nod and then slowly peeled them off. 

His mouth watered when he saw Gavin’s little dick poking out. That would have to wait. He stood up and grabbed the rope. He took his time tying Gavin up, asking colors as he went along to make sure Gavin was safe. The end result was beautiful. Gavin tied up on his bed, legs spread, begging to be filled. Ryan walked over to his dresser and grabbed the lube. He heard a pathetic whine and looked down at Gavin “Now don't be a brat, or I’ll just leave you here.” Gavin shook his head “That’s what I thought. Now be a good boy.”

He took his time picking up his knife and checking the sharpness. He let the blade catch the light a few times before Gavin let out an impatient moan. He chuckled, “Impatient much, brat? Can't wait to feel my knife can you?” Gavin squirmed on the bed, another moan leaving his mouth. “I need a color, Gavin.”

There were a few tense moments before Gavin pushed out a hoarse “green.” Ryan smirked. He loomed over Gavin and ran the knife down his thigh before making the first cut. Gavin whimpered pathetically. Ryan moved over to the other thigh, this time a little higher and made the cut a little deeper. The red looked beautiful against Gavin’s tan skin. Ryan wanted to paint hundreds of pictures of Gavin trapped in this moment, his eyes were glued to the blood rolling down Gavin’s soft thighs. He moved the knife up to Gavin's stomach, “Color?” He just needed to be sure.

A soft “green” came from above him and he made a few small, shallow cuts. A quiet whimper followed by a long loud moan came from the Brit. Ryan chuckled. He leaned up to Gavin’s face and whispered in his ear, “You’ll be wearing my marks for weeks, brat.” That rewarded him with a beautiful whine. He ran the knife across Gavin’s pecs. He made one deep cut below his collarbones. Then moved the knife to Gavin’s throat. Before he even got the chance to speak Gavin groaned out, “Green, green. So fucking green god Ryan please.” 

Ryan moved the knife around Gavin’s throat for a few minutes. Gavin keened when the blade finally pressed down against it, and Ryan made a slight cut down most of his neck. Ryan stood up and looked at his handiwork. Gavin looked like a painting spread out beneath him. He knelt down by Gavin and licked his lips. Gavin looked over towards him, his pupils were blown wide and Ryan bet he wasn't looking much better. He ran his lips down Gavin's neck and sucked a few marks into it. He ran his lips down Gavin’s chest and sucked a few more marks on the way down to the line of hair leading to Gavin’s beautiful little dick. He reached out and grabbed the lube for later. He looked at Gavin before he did anything. “Color, baby?”

“Green.” Gavin pushed out. Ryan licked his lips and then ran them over the head of Gavin’s dick. A strained groan came from the smaller man and Ryan chuckled. He popped open the cap on the lube and poured some over his fingers. He ran one over Gavin’s entrance, he moaned and bucked down onto the digit and Ryan gently pushed it in and started stretching Gavin out slowly. Gavin’s moans and whimpers got louder and louder as Ryan added more and more fingers. He kept pushing against Ryan’s fingers and keening gently so Ryan would start fucking him harder with the digits.

“God Gavin, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much.” He didn’t mean for that to slip out, but Gavin moaned so loud and closed his eyes at the praise. Ryan slowed his pace down and fucked Gavin slow and deep until he felt him spasming around his fingers. Gavin moaned and bucked his hips at the pressure till he finally came and went still a few moments later. Ryan crawled up his body and gave him a few soft kisses. “Good, Gav?” He questioned the man. Gavin nodded and nuzzled into Ryan’s neck. They stayed there for a few minutes before Ryan started untying him. When he was done untying Gavin, Ryan walked over to the bathroom and got a wet washcloth to clean up all the blood on Gavin, and himself. 

When he finally finished, he fished out an old sweatshirt and some fresh boxers for Gavin to put on. Gavin crawled over to Ryan. “Can I sit on your lap lovely?” Ryan nodded and Gavin fell into Ryan’s lap. Ryan knew he was done for from that moment. Gavin felt perfect sitting there like it was the only place he was meant to be. 

Ryan shook his head. He couldn’t be thinking like this. He couldn’t let Gavin in like this. It was too…. dangerous, for both of them. Ryan was too afraid of hurting Gavin. He knew who he was, and he knew that no one should look at him the way that Gavin was now. Like he strung all the stars in the sky just to see Gavin’s face, see the awe bloom across his features. 

Ryan is not a good man. He doesn't deserve someone like Gavin. Gavin needs someone who will treat him right, not someone who will hurt him given any opportunity. 

“Ryan~ you’re so lovely. I want to stay here all night.” Ryan closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this. He was a weak man for letting Gavin in like this. He had taken it too far. 

“Gavin… I can’t do this.” He regretted the words immediately. He wanted Gavin so bad, but he just couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting him. He wanted to let Gavin in so badly that sometimes it physically hurt him, but he knew they would both get hurt in the end. He couldn’t do that to Gavin. He deserved someone so much better than Ryan, someone who was soft and gentle. Ryan was too harsh around the edges, a little too hard where he should be soft. He’d done terrible things to people who didn’t deserve it.

Gavin knew about that and still didn’t push Ryan away and he shouldn’t go down that path, it was too dangerous. 

“Why not lovely?” _Because I can’t trust myself. Because you’re too sweet and I’m too hard and I can’t deal with the thought of losing you, especially if it was my fault and god Gavin why can’t you just find someone else who will treat you right._ He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it. Mainly because it was true. Gavin could try all he wanted to convince Ryan that he was good, but he would never believe it. 

“You might regret this Gavin. Even after what happened tonight. I still might hurt you. I feel like I can’t trust myself.” He couldn’t. Not around Gavin. He was a wild card. He never knew what was going to happen next. He didn’t want that to affect any relationship with Gavin. He wanted to keep Gavin safe. Not put him in more danger. He couldn’t get close to Gavin again. 

“I still trust you de-” Ryan cut him off, “That's a mistake, Gav.”

“I don’t care though. Best mistake then.” Gavin was still giving him those fucking puppy dog eyes. God, Ryan was a weak man. Those eyes could make him do anything. He had to stop himself from doing something that he would regret. He knew he would hurt Gavin sooner or later, it would be better to do it sooner. 

“God can’t you see Gav. I’m only going to hurt you in the end. You can say all these nice things but it's not going to stop the fact that I’m me and you’re you.” He hoped that Gavin would see. He had to convince Gavin that this would end badly. He wanted to run. He wanted to push Gavin away and hide. Gavin may not be an innocent man to others, but he was to Ryan. 

“Yea, I know. But I’m willing to do this, Ryan. I’m willing to be with you. To be yours. To just. Be. As long as I can.” Gavin pleaded with him. Ryan closed his eyes. If he didn’t look at Gavin then he wouldn't fall for him. Too late a little voice nagged at him. 

“Gavin please don’t say stuff like that. It’s hard enough already to stop myself.” Ryan was itching to run. He didn’t know where he just wanted to get away from Gavin and his too-sweet words and his fucking puppy eyes. Maybe just giving in would be easier- no he couldn’t think like that. He had to remind himself that it would only end in bloodshed and he didn’t want that. 

“I’ll help you, Ryan. I promise.” Ryan manhandled Gavin out of his lap and stood up. Gavin looked up at him, confused. “Ryan?” he questioned the man. Ryan just shook his head. 

“Gavin… I.” He turned around. He heard Gavin get up and walk towards him. Gavin laid his hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “Yes, Rye.” God, he sounded so hurt by Ryan’s actions. Ryan closed his hands and squeezed. He needed to get a grip on himself. His resolve was quickly crumbling. 

“Gavin, please…. If you do this…” So close to giving in. Just a few more steps before a freefall. He was scared. He didn’t know if he could take the last few steps. His stomach dropped out. The choice loomed in front of him. It shouldn’t feel like life or death, but it did. 

“Do this? Become yours? I.. I want this, Ryan.” The words were whispered in the silent room. Ryan felt Gavin’s hand drop as he turned around to face the lad. His eyes were pleading. Ryan was not a strong man. Never claimed to be. And those eyes just made him weaker. He would do anything to see Gavin smile, to see him be happy. He stepped closer to the man and mumbled out a weak protest. “Gavin… my past. Who I am. I don't want that to get in the way.”

Gavin smiled, and Ryan wanted to cry. “I know you don't. And I won't let it.” He looked so determined. The free fall was getting closer and closer with every word spoken between them. He whispered another protest as he put his hand on Gavin’s shoulders, “Darling I… I don’t know. You mean too much to me, this can only end badly.” 

How many times was he going to say that before he realized it was a weak excuse. Gavin’s face settled into a gentle, loving look. Ryan wanted to close his eyes. “I don’t think it can dear. I doubt it will.” God Gavin sounded so sincere. Ryan took a deep breath. It's getting harder and harder to put up this fight. He wanted to finally admit to himself, and Gavin, and the world that he loved this man. He wanted this man in his life forever. Until they grew old and died in some no-name town miles away from Los Santos. “Ryan? Please?”

He took the risk and looked down at Gavin. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep denying them what they both wanted. It was stupid of him to do in the first place. He gave in. He stepped off that cliff. “Okay, Gav.” The man’s face lit up and Ryan felt relieved. He pulled Gavin close and hugged him. He felt Gavin’s arms wrap around him, and they stood there, embracing for a few minutes before Gavin pushed away and looked up at him, stars in his eyes. “Ryan, I really want you.” 

Ryan walked Gavin towards the bed until they both fell onto it. “God Gavin, you can have me, I’m all yours. I want you and there is nothing that is going to take you from me.” Gavin looked so stupidly happy at those words and Ryan wanted that look to stay on his face forever. 

No, Ryan never claimed to be a strong man. But if he was, he wouldn't be here, with the love of his life in his arms. The happiest either of them had ever been. There might not be a happy ending to this story, but Ryan will be damned if he doesn’t try his hardest to give Gavin the happy ending he deserves.

**Author's Note:**

> i played a fun game of counting how many times ryan called himself weak. it was too many whoops
> 
> welp. im on tumblr at [asexualfandomvoyager](http://asexualfandomvoyager.tumblr.com/)
> 
> my [Ryan](http://manicvagabond.tumblr.com/)
> 
> my bby's [Gavin](http://jeremysgavin.tumblr.com/)


End file.
